I need a hobby.

All this talk of glorious Nippon has made me get this funny, swelling feeling in my testicles that I can't even begin to describe. So instead, I'm going to contribute to this gay pride parade of words with my own haiku, on things close to my black, shriveled heart.

Running like the wind,
Vaults rockets like a bunny,
Abuses voice commands

Soldier has a trick,
Soars through the sky like eagle,
Bursts into giblets

Sets up an ambush,
Waits to jump the-aack!
Forgot to spy check

Faces down sentries,
Runs in with an uber charge,
Fires 'nades wildly

He fires his gun,
Furious storm of bullets,
Didn't hit a thing

Tink tink tink tink tink,
Tink tink tink tink tink tink tink,
Engineer is hard

Attacking the point,
Medic has a charge ready,
He runs like coward

Shooting from afar,
"Heh, I'm just too pro for you,"
Bottom of scoreboard

Sneaking by Blu team,
Waiting for moment to strike,
Red team has five spies